Breaking News: The head coach of the Texas Rangers has formally informed his team that he will be leaving at the end of the season because of…..

Tridents up and brooms out

The “Don’t Mess With Texas” slogan originates from an anti-littering campaign, so it was very courteous of the Mariners to bring out the brooms and sweep up Texas today, in the process placing their boot more firmly on the necks of the AL West than at any point since the end of the 2001 season.

The star of today’s game was undoubtedly Logan Gilbert, who was so hot I thought Rohan was going to ride to Gondor’s aid. Honoring the anniversary of the only immaculate inning in Mariners history, Logan collected four three-pitch strikeouts. When he started the fourth inning with two in a row, you could hear the excitement in Aaron Goldsmith’s voice, and then hear all the air leave the

booth when Logan went ball one to the next batter as the feed went silent for at least thirty seconds.

Combining an extra mph on his four-seamer with a sharp slider would probably have been enough to carve through the Rangers’ lineup. But it was the splitter that took things to another gear today, with that pitch as locked in as I’ve ever seen it. Of the 21 he threw, he picked up eight whiffs and zero balls in play. I mean, look at this:

But as impressive as those pitches were, he was flagging to open the seventh against Adolis García. He was missing his spots and his slider had lost a little bite. García eventually scorched a 2-2 splitter into what used to be the King’s Court, and it really felt like something bad was going to happen. But the thing about the work he’s put in to Build-A-LoGi-Bear, he now has six arrows in his quiver to turn to when he’s in trouble. Cal Raleigh smartly and unexpectedly called for a spiked

curveball. With so many pitches to think about, García just wasn’t ready for something to move like that and couldn’t check his swing. Logan buttered his bread with the slider and splitter today, but this curve was the pitch of the game.